


O serpent heart hid with a flowering face!

by Ameera, NoOneKnowsIWriteThis



Series: Loyal Son of Tain [7]
Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Angst, Episode: s03e15 Destiny, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 01:52:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12738624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ameera/pseuds/Ameera, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoOneKnowsIWriteThis/pseuds/NoOneKnowsIWriteThis
Summary: A Cardassian science experiment gives Julian the opportunity to learn more about Cardassia, and Garak.-“Why can't you even admit things when I catch you on your lies?” Julian asked angrily.





	O serpent heart hid with a flowering face!

The arrival of the two Cardassian scientists on the station had gone surprisingly smoothly and turned out to be a fairly relaxed affair. Julian had been pulled into having lunch with Jadzia, O’Brien, and the two scientists. There had been the expected surprise over a male doctor, which gave Julian the opportunity to recount the story of the one question he'd missed on his final exam in medical school.

 

Everything had been fairly pleasant until a moment during their discussion of Iloja of Prim.

 

Julian turned towards the two scientists, smiling. “What do the two of you think of Iloja of Prim's work? Obviously Jadzia and I enjoy it, but I'm wondering what the popular Cardassian perspective is. Garak can't stand him.”

 

It was as if a chill ran through the room.

 

_ “Garak?!” _ the two Cardassians exclaimed, their eyes wide in shock and terror.

 

Jadzia and O’Brien both turned to look at Julian. “Um, yes, Councillor Garak,” Julian stammered.

 

Gilora looked around carefully before leaning in and quietly, but urgently asking, “Doctor, when did you discuss poetry with the Head of the Obsidian Order?”

 

Julian was about to try to blunder his way through a response when Quark brought a third Cardassian woman, Dejar, to their table. There was instantly a sense of unease radiating from the two scientists.

 

“What’s the Obsidian Order?” O’Brien asked.

 

The scientists said nothing, although Gilora and Ulani both nervously glanced at Dejar, who seemed completely unconcerned with her companions’ discomfort.

 

“It's the intelligence organization of Cardassia,” Julian said, answering O’Brien’s question. “Sort of like the Romulan Tal'Shiar.”

 

“They're not the same thing,” Dejar cut in sharply. 

 

“We have no Federation equivalent,” Julian replied with a shrug, “so excuse my limited comparable options.”

 

The conversation did resume after that, but it never returned to being as comfortable as it had been.

 

\--

 

Julian was careful not to seem too interested in their Cardassian guests, but soon enough he managed to find an opportunity to speak with Gilora alone.

 

“I need to talk to you about Garak,” he began when he found her alone in a hallway. “Is that speculation, or do you _ know _ he's in charge of the Order?”

 

“Doctor,” Gilora said warily, glancing around the empty hallway, “is it really necessary that you put me in this position?”

 

“I'm sorry,” Julian apologized quickly, but he needed answers and he certainly wasn't going to get them from Garak. “But Garak and I… We exchange literature and eat meals together whenever he's on the station.” He shrugged sheepishly, hoping that it wasn't obvious how much he had riding on her response. “I just find it hard to believe that a man who needs a glass of rokassa juice after I point out specifically what I didn't like about his book recommendations is that dangerous.”

 

_ Please tell me you were mistaken, that I'm not sleeping with a man who could kill me as easily as kiss me. At least tell me you're not sure so I can pretend that he's following orders, not issuing them. _

 

“If I were you, doctor,” Gilora said hesitantly with another nervous glance around to make sure the hallway was as deserted as it seemed, “I would not criticize his choices.”

 

“You're serious,” Julian murmured, not wanting to believe it.

 

“Women often are,” she replied gravely.

 

“Yes, well, thank you for your candor,” Julian stammered. He tried to offer her a small smile as she walked past him, but the whirl of anxiety in his chest turned it into a pained grimace.

 

\--

 

Julian hadn't been around when Garak arrived on the station. Originally Garak was there to celebrate the success of the experiment, but now he also had to clean up the mess Dejar had made by her interference. It was unlike her, to try to strike out on her own, and, as far as Garak could find, no one had approved or ordered this mission.

 

But Garak’s official duties would wait until the morning, for now he would work on more pleasant things, such as sneaking into Julian's quarters.

 

“Hello, doctor,” he greeted as the door slid shut behind him.

 

Instead of the warm greetings Garak had started to become accustomed to, Julian remained seated on the couch and fixed him with harsh glare.

 

“Why did you do it? Was it all just to keep Bajor and Cardassia from mending the past or was this some conceited ideal of if Cardassia can't have the wormhole, no one can?”

 

“My dear?” Garak tilted his head, confused.

 

“Don't act like you weren't involved,” Julian said furiously, leaping to his feet. “An agent of the Obsidian Order tries to sabotage the entire experiment and the head of the Order doesn't know? Unlikely.” He stalked over to the window, Garak trailing him at a distance.

 

“Who told you I’m the head of the Order?” Garak asked. His first instinct was Dukat, if only because Dukat was either foolish or arrogant enough to spread that kind of information, but as far as Garak could tell, Dukat had no way of learning that information. That meant Julian had likely learned it either from one of the scientists or from Dejar.

 

“The Wormhole Aliens would all have been massacred!” Julian declared, gesturing toward the window where the wormhole itself was just coming into view. “You're really willing to commit genocide over...what? Bajor? Not having control of wormhole?”

 

Garak filed that information away for when he interrogated Dejar and turned his focus entirely to the man in front of him.

 

“Julian.” He spoke gently, trying to calm Julian down. If he was calm, Garak could get him to listen. “I truly do not know what you’re talking about.”

 

“Why can't you even admit things when I catch you on your lies?” Julian asked angrily.

 

“Julian, I don’t-” Julian marched towards him, determination and righteous fury echoing in every step.

 

“Are you the head of the Obsidian Order?” Julian’s voice was harsh, his eyes icy, and his hands trembled at his sides, though whether from rage or simply from the effort of holding himself together, Garak didn’t know.

 

“Julian,” Garak tried again.

 

“Yes or no, Garak,” Julian demanded coldly.

 

“Please, my dear-” Garak reached out vainly, hoping that maybe if he could just touch Julian, he could get him to stop, get him to listen.

 

“I should have known,” Julian snarled, gnashing his teeth as he stepped out of Garak’s reach. Garak didn’t pursue him. “I should have known,” Julian echoed, softer this time. His words were directed at himself, rather than Garak. “But I didn’t want to see what was in front of my face. I’m such an  _ idiot.” _ The expression on his face was one of such pain that Garak felt compelled to move towards Julian, to attempt to offer him some kind of comfort, no matter how inadequate, but the instant he moved Julian’s eyes snapped to him. Julian’s gaze was sharp, but Garak had been thoroughly trained in how to read people, and he could see that behind the sharpness Julian was on the edge of shattering.

 

“Julian, I’m sorry,” Garak pleaded, surprised to find that he genuinely meant it. He was actually sorry that he’d hurt Julian.

 

“Please leave,” Julian said as sternly as he could manage, but there was the slightest tremor in his voice that revealed to Garak the depth of the doctor’s pain. Garak said nothing, he simply nodded and left, accepting that he had been banished from Julian’s company.

 

\--

 

As soon as the door closed behind Garak, Julian leaned heavily against the wall and slid down to the floor as his legs gave out from under him.

 

_ I’m such a fool. What good is this augmented brain if I ignore all the warning signs? _

 

Julian stayed still for several minutes, emotionally drained from his confrontation with Garak.

 

_ I don’t know what’s worse: that he didn’t admit the truth when I had him cornered, or that I wish he’d lied well enough that I could believe him. _

 

A half-choked gasp escaped Julian’s lips followed quickly by a soft litany of “No’s”.

 

_ I can’t. I _ **_can’t_ ** _ still love him. And yet...I do... _

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from right after Juliet learns Romeo killed her cousin Tybalt. She decries the contradiction of Romeo's attractiveness housing such villainy before rethinking the matter and regretting her outburst against her husband.


End file.
